That’s when things got all sorts of stabby

7 Famous Figures Who Were Absurdly Hard To Kill

canada goose black friday sale Blackbeard or Edward Teach was a famous English pirate and a massive asshole by all canada goose outlet uk sale accounts. He had between fourteen and sixteen wives, most of them about a biscuit older than Dakota Fanning. One wife in particular would be routinely forced to run a train with the crew while Blackbeard watched and “buffed his peg leg” so to speak. He burnt hemp beneath his. um, black beard, to make it look canada goose outlet parka like he was breathing fire, which worked to intimidate his enemies but likely alienated his crew since such a stunt would make an 18th century pirate smell like a snowman made of dogshit. canada goose black friday sale

canada goose clearance Blackbeard eventually retired to North Carolina to spend his senior years rolling around in gold coins. But the Governor of Virginia put out a hit on Blackbeard, sending two ships after him, commanded by canada goose jacket outlet Robert Maynard. canada goose clearance

Canada Goose Jackets Rather than running from the two enormous ships sent to kill him, Blackbeard boarded Maynard’s ship. Well, first he bombed the deck with an assload of primitive grenades like Jim Brown in The Dirty Dozen. That’s when things got all sorts of stabby. Blackbeard nearly severed the fingers on one of Maynard’s hands official canada goose outlet with canada goose outlet store uk his sword, and Maynard broke his fucking sword stabbing Blackbeard back. Canada Goose Jackets

canada goose uk outlet At the end of the canada goose outlet online fight, Blackbeard had been stabbed twenty canada goose outlet times and suffered at least five gunshot wounds, before bleeding to death while trying to reload his pistol to keep the party going. Maynard then cut Blackbeard’s head off and hung it from the bow of his sloop, partly for effect but mostly because he needed the head to collect his reward. He was paid 100 pounds for his trouble, the modern equivalent of about $18,000 or a 2006 Buick Rainier. canada goose uk outlet

He routinely murdered judges and politicians, and had a standing public bounty canada goose outlet jackets on police officers. He ordered two to three car bombings a day, enough that we’re surprised people didn’t just start walking to work. Delta Force operators, SEAL Team 6 and the canada goose black friday sale Colombian police was formed with the explicit purpose of taking Pablo down. They were known as the Search Bloc, and they were in no way fucking around.

canada goose uk shop We are in no way fucking around. canada goose uk shop

buy canada goose jacket cheap They joined a posse of vigilantes known as Los Pepes, made up of the friends and family of the people that Pablo had murdered. They tracked Escobar to a barrio and a bullet festival ensued. buy canada goose jacket cheap

cheap canada goose uk The shootout led to the rooftops of Medellin, with Escobar jumping from building to building, absorbing gunshot wounds to the legs and torso. Finally fed up with the hail of gunfire, he canada goose outlet online uk shot himself in the head to avoid capture. cheap canada goose uk

Ned Kelly and his gang took over seventy hostages at the Glenrowan Inn after learning a train canada goose outlet canada full of policemen were on their way to arrest them. Despite an attempt canada goose outlet nyc to derail the train, the police managed to canada goose outlet in usa corner Kelly and his men in the inn. The outlaws, taking the next logical step, donned homemade suits of motherfucking battle armor.

canada goose coats Kelly marched straight outside and started firing at the canada goose outlet shop police while the rest of his gang remained behind. Bullets pinged off Kelly’s armor, but his legs and groin were comparatively canada goose outlet store unprotected (a huge oversight, in our opinion). canada goose coats

canada goose uk black friday He stood up from his desk, axe in head, and spit on Mercader. Then he went after the assassin, wrestling with him. Trotsky’s bodyguards heard the commotion (where the fuck were they a few minutes ago?) and came running in to subdue the assassin and get Trotsky to the hospital. canada goose uk black friday

canadian goose jacket “I gotta say, you seem Oh. Okay, I see the problem.” canadian goose jacket

Trotsky made it to the hospital and underwent surgery before finally dying a day later from complications related to being brained with a goddamn ice axe. Armed with machetes, the group sliced through the president’s neck, skull and brain, and severed his left arm and right hand.

He stayed on his feet. The man was the Black Knight from Monty Python.

canada goose clearance sale Undeterred, his attackers shot him six times in the chest. He was slashed a total canada goose outlet sale canada goose outlet of fourteen times before he finally fell to the ground. Even then he was alive enough to write “God does not die” on the ground. in his own fucking blood. canada goose clearance sale

cheap Canada Goose After the assassins fled, the cathedral priests took Moreno back inside the church, where he lived for fifteen more minutes. When his body was goose outlet canada examined after death, physicians observed he had balls of wrought iron [citation needed]. cheap Canada Goose

uk canada goose outlet He was stabbed in the face with a bamboo spear, to canada goose outlet black friday which he responded by burying his lance in the attacker. Magellan tried to draw his sword to keep fighting, but his arm was slashed and soon his leg as well, and he fell to the ground more or less mortally wounded. uk canada goose outlet

Canada Goose Parka Actual photograph of Magellan. Canada Goose Parka

Canada Goose Coats On Sale The natives then surrounded him and began stabbing and clubbing him as he lay defenseless. He kept looking up to see if his crew had made it safely back to their boats and, upon seeing canada goose outlet new york city that they finally had, Magellan allowed himself to die. We like to think that with his last breath, he screamed and chucked a spear that left a single cut in Lapu’s cheek. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

canada goose factory sale Rasputin, by all historical accounts, canada goose outlet toronto factory was overtly full of shit. He was a drunk and canada goose factory outlet a lecher, and routinely accepted bribes from people seeking his guidance. Rasputin’s dubious lifestyle arguably added to the diminishing support of the Royal family, which ultimately led to revolution (see Trotsky, above). And he was gutted by a prostitute in public in 1914, which we imagine must do wonders for your image. canada goose factory sale

After Rasputin recovered from the by all accounts gnarly stab wound delivered by the prostitute, a group of Russian nobles decided to finish the job by poisoning him to death with tainted wine and cake. History cannot agree whether any of the poison ever entered Rasputin’s system (the poison in the cakes probably evaporated during baking), but this did little to diminish the conspirators’ surprise when Rasputin didn’t die.

So, canada goose outlet uk Rasputin continued to hang out, eating cake, until one of the nobles finally grew impatient and shot Rasputin in the back. Content that he was dead, the murderers left the palace. One member of the party forgot his coat though, and when he returned to collect it, Rasputin sprang up from the floor like Skeet Ulrich in Scream and started strangling him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

XHTML: You can use these tags <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>